On Boundaries and the HARD PASS
HARD PASS.
I’ve used this phrase over the last few years in my lexicon, mostly in jest during comical moments with friends and family when talking about things that I really don’t want to do… or eat. And trust me, there are a LOT of things I don’t want to do or eat. We’ll save my pickiness for another post.
Examples of the HARD PASS w/ a Shannon Sharpe head shake (you know the one):
Some rollercoasters or things that spin around too many times: the way my vertigo just won’t let me be great = HARD PASS
Walking around in wooded, creepy campgrounds at night by myself: have you SEEN any horror movies = HARD PASS
Jumping out of perfectly good airplanes: because seriously, luck has never been my best friend = HARD PASS
In actuality, there is some truth to that jest. There are some boundaries that I have just grown accustomed to not wanting to cross. And there are some boundaries I am learning and relearning to shore up and stay firm on.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial for our well-being and personal growth. Boundaries act as our own personal guidelines, defining what is acceptable and what is not in various aspects of our lives. They help protect our physical, emotional, and mental space, allowing us to prioritize our needs and preserve our sense of self.
The concept of the HARD PASS encompasses those boundaries that we hold steadfastly and without compromise. They represent the non-negotiables in our lives, the things we are unequivocally unwilling to engage in or tolerate. These boundaries are unique to each individual, shaped by our experiences, values, and personal preferences.
Identifying our HARD PASSes is an empowering act of self-awareness. It requires introspection and a willingness to acknowledge our limits and priorities. By recognizing these boundaries, we gain a clearer understanding of ourselves and what we need to feel safe, comfortable, and fulfilled.
For some, a HARD PASS may involve activities that trigger fear or discomfort, such as rollercoasters or venturing alone into spooky settings. These boundaries acknowledge our physical and emotional limitations, ensuring that we prioritize our well-being and avoid unnecessary stress or anxiety.
Other HARD PASSes may pertain to situations that challenge our values or go against our principles. These could involve declining invitations to events or engagements that conflict with our moral compass or declining requests for personal favors that compromise our integrity. By establishing and respecting these boundaries, we preserve our authenticity and honor our beliefs.
However, it's important to note that boundaries are not rigid walls meant to isolate us from the world. They are flexible and adaptable, designed to protect and support us as we navigate life's complexities. Boundaries should be communicated clearly and assertively, ensuring that others understand and respect our limits. When our boundaries are violated, it is essential to assert ourselves and reinforce those limits to maintain our emotional well-being.
Learning and relearning boundaries is an ongoing process. As we grow and evolve, our needs and priorities may shift, necessitating adjustments to our boundaries. It is crucial to regularly reassess and reevaluate our boundaries, ensuring that they align with our current values and circumstances. This self-reflection allows us to grow and create healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
The HARD PASS represents our unwavering boundaries, the lines we draw to protect our well-being and values. Embracing and upholding these boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect. By recognizing our limits, communicating them assertively, and adapting them when necessary, we can cultivate a greater sense of personal agency and live more authentically.
So, go ahead and embrace your HARD PASSes—they are the compass guiding you to a life aligned with your true self.
