Stitched with Love: Pillows of Legacy and Sisterhood
Every morning, as I step into my office and settle at my desk, I'm greeted by a collection of pillows. Each one is unique, some handcrafted with love and care, all given to me by women who have profoundly impacted my life. These pillows are more than just decor—they are daily reminders of why I dedicate myself to researching pathways and solutions for women to thrive.
My existence is a testament to an incredible lineage of women, both those related by blood and those who aren't, who paved the way for me. There are too many to name, as women have touched every corner of my life: my mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, sisters-in-love, friends, and more. These women came together in community, lifting each other up, sharing lessons, and fixing each other’s crowns when needed. I have been blessed by phenomenal women in this life and the lives that came before.
Take, for instance, my Grandma Connie. She created small pillows with my initials, K and D. Her love for sewing and cross-stitching was something she shared with me, teaching me the craft. Although she passed away over 25 years ago, her voice, laughter, and smile remain vivid in my memory. She was a supportive and generous soul, dedicating countless volunteer hours to the Girl Scouts, church, and various community organizations. Jackson, Mississippi, was lucky to have her. Knowing that her hands crafted those pillows soothes my soul, and I strive to live up to the model she set.
My Grandma Connie
In Black culture, membership in a Greek letter organization is not chosen lightly. The bonds of initiation mark the beginning of lifelong service to the community; the sisterhood is unparalleled. Growing up, I was exposed to several Black Greek Letter Organizations. My fabulous Godmother, Ms. Gladys, has been a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, for over 50 years. A dear family friend and mentor, Mrs. Arminta James, was a long-serving member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. Choosing an organization to commit to is a deeply personal decision, and I was drawn to Alpha Kappa Alpha for quite some time. The chapter members I met during my freshman year at the University of Iowa solidified my decision, and I remain proud to this day of my commitment to the First and Finest Sorority in the Divine Nine. The pink and green pillow, one of the first gifts handcrafted and given after initiation by members of the Epsilon Theta Chapter, represents the community service, support, and sisterhood we shared. I continue to uphold those lessons through my service and membership in the Delta Chi Omega Chapter.
Members of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated, Epsilon Theta Chapter - circa 1993
Life has taken me on many twists and turns, and the last pillow represents an accomplishment more than a decade in the making. Restarting my doctoral journey at a new school, I had no idea I would meet a group of women who would change my life. From early on in the program, we supported each other through every class, assignment, and dissertation defense. We formed what my research terms a Sister Circle. We laughed, cried, and graduated together. They are a large part of my doctoral journey. The maroon and gold pillow, given by Dr. Amy Pate, a member of our sister circle, reminds me of the bonds forged when you open your heart to trust and support the women around you.
Drs. Kanavel, Jacobsen, and Pate and me during graduation festivities, 2024.
As I continue on my journey, I carry with me the love, strength, and support of the women who are with me and those who watch over me from the ancestral plane. Many lessons were hard-fought but worthwhile, and I stand here today because of them.
